Help me finish the Manifesto!

Please help me get the Manifesto, finished. I very much need specific comments telling me which parts need improvent! To help people give more specific comments, I have set the text up on co-ment, please feel free to use and share this link.

co-ment link:

http://www.co-ment.net/text/2284

The easiest way to read it online is at booki, because it allows you read one section/heading at a time

booki link:

http://www.booki.cc/telekommunist-manifesto-2010

Thanks!!

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